I’ve never thought of myself as someone who needs balance. Before the wedding I was non-stop. Appointments after work, phone calls constantly, emails even more, budget planning, DIYing, out with friends a few times a week, and working full time. I had a long list of to-dos and I was diligent with checking it off and staying on track. The moment we got back from the honeymoon though, the list was gone, including things that had nothing to do with the wedding. Now, four months later, I’m struggling to get back on a solid track. I’m not sure how it happened before and I don’t think I would have called my life balanced at that time but I knew what and when I had to do things and I got them done. My to-do list consisted of everything and I think the reason it worked was because it was in front of me all the time. I am a list maker by nature. I have more lists than any one person should have. I have nine lists on my reminders app, a to-do list at work, six active Google calendars including a task list there, and a few Google Docs. And I keep adding. I keep thinking I’ll find a time in the upcoming weekend to sit down and sort things out. Does it ever happen? Not ever. I have a theory that it’s Newlywed/ Nesting Syndrome. My life is now revolving around my husband and our nest and I can’t see outside of that bubble. It’s not his fault or mine but it’s just how things happened after settling back into life after our honeymoon. I’m sure I’ll be going through this again when we have our first baby: getting back into a routine, setting a new schedule for the baby, finding “me” time. So what can I do to get back to that feeling of a balanced life?
Lately, I’ve been noticing that so many people around me are asking themselves the same question also. Maybe it’s a typical February question, though, if you think about it. This is the time most people are losing their motivation and kicking their New Years Resolutions to the curb. When contemplating the answer I’ve come up with only one thing and, at the risk of oversimplifying, I think it just has to be done. Choose one night or two out of the week to sit down by yourself to do whatever it is you want to do.
January was solid for me. I was motivated and ready to take on my “before the baby weight loss” goal but February has just been kicking my butt. The first two weeks I was sick so my motivation for the gym has slacked and it’s had a snowball effect because I started thinking about everything else I should be doing. After work I head to the gym and by the time I get home, shower, and eat it’s around 8p and JZ is home so we spend time together. It’s almost like I’m resenting my gym time because it’s time that I have all to myself. I’m surprising myself that I’m still very focused on my goal so I’m working hard to keep the negative energy at bay. Friday through Sunday is husband-wife time. I have become pretty hesitant to give up that time so that has been a bit of a struggle too.
After a conversation I had with a friend a few weeks ago over dinner, I realized that one of the bigger objectives on the road to balance will be to focus on meditation. I used to mediate a lot when I was younger. Most of that time was prayer and I miss that. I think that time with myself and God helped me figure out a lot, whether I realized it or not at the time. So over the next few weeks, maybe until Nashvegas, I’m going to spend a lot of time focusing on what I need right now. That will be my first step in my balance act.
Anyone else struggle to find balance?